The Top 19 Things Your Dentist Won't Tell You

19. "I'm just not that great when it comes to incisors."

18. "Honestly, plaque doesn't bother me that much. I just like judging you."

17. "Floss is for little girl-men."

16. "Though I routinely sanitize my instruments, I myself have not been sanitized in years."

15. "I've won far more awards for my cat-juggling than my dentistry."

14. "I secretly take X-rays of my dental hygienists... because I get off on skeletons."

13. "Once, I cooked an egg in the autoclave."

12. "Once, I punched a chicken in the heart."

11. "You're going to die someday."

10. "I have this thing on my foot that just won't go away."

9. "I have killed far more men than mosquitos."

8. "My favorite song is 'Waiting for Tonight' by Jennifer Lopez."

7. "My office's toybox is full of garter snakes."

6. "I pull for the Toronto Blue Jays. In every sport."

5. "I am a world renowned scrapbooker."

4. "You know that song, 'Your Love'? Y'know... 'Josie's on vacation far away...' etc, etc. Yeah, I wrote that."

3. "I still use America Online."

2. "I invest all my money in Nuva rings and Pez."

1. "I sometimes confuse my wife's Nuva ring for Pez."