1. Intro
[Kant]
Yo yo
Shout out
Detroit
Brooklyn
Konigsburg
Word to my boy Hume
Rousseau
Montaigne
All the other Philosopherz
We lost in the struggle
Yo let's hit this shit
Philosopherz style
2. Verse 1
[Jeremy Bentham]
Wassup y'all it's your boy J. Bentham
Said some shit about utility and you know that I meant them
To all you ladies: I see you as equals
Let's make an adult film, and then make a sequel
Yo we could maximize our good for the greatest of numbers
And let the free market grow, totally unencumbered
3. Verse 2
[Adam Smith]
I'm Adam Smith, the biggest pimp in the land
I be smackin' that ass with my invisible hand
If value comes from work that you did to get some
Then bitches ain't shit cuz when I call you know they come
4. Verse 3
[Plato]
Yo Plato's flow be as low as it go
My ideas are high but I drop verse to the flo'
Gotta nice republic with a golden class
Mix some gold in with the po', too, to placate yo' ass
Now open up the cave, ho, the allegory here
Is the cave is your pussy and I think that's clear
5. Hook
[Epicurean Girls]
What's the point of all the thinkin' if it don't feel good?
Make the beat drop baby make it all feel good
Yeah the joint is poppin' don't it all feel good
Epicurus take me hooooooooome, baby
6. Verse 4
[Thomas Paine (note: not the same as T-Pain)]
Thomas Paine
Inside ya brain
Can't count the ladies
With whom I have lain
That's just the rights of man
Yeah I got that from Spence
Yo fuck King George
That's just Common Sense
7. Verse 5
[Thomas Hobbes]
Yo, big Tom Hobbes
Set it off like a fuse
The state of nature is war
And both sides are bound to lose
Doesn't life seem nasty, brutish and short
But as for me I'm long
Fuckin' me's a contact sport
8. Verse 6
[John Locke]
Check yourself Hobbes, ain't you heard of reason
Yo John Locke is cocked, and your ass is in season
Got a social contract--but no ideas are innate
And when I make ya come your mind'll be a blank slate
9. Hook
10. Verse 7
[Mary Wollstonecraft]
Look out y'all it's Mary Wollstonecraft
I gotta big up my ladies 'cuz we gettin' the shaft
Just 'cuz my ass is fly don't mean that I'm yo' toy
Give a girl an education--she be as smart as any boy
11. Verse 8
[Simone de Beauvoir]
Scuse me, M-Dubs, I got somethin' to say
These brothas make us othas
And act like it's okay
This patriarchy's whack--that shit gotta stop
I may be an other but I'm still on top!
12. Hook (alternate)
[Epicurean Girls]
What's the point of all the thinkin' if it don't feel good?
Make the beat drop baby make it all feel good
Have respect for women, don't it all feel good
Epicurus take me hooooooooome, baby
13. Verse 9
[Jonathan Edwards]
Jonathan Edwards, blowin' minds spittin' fi-yah
Fi-yah unda you, cuz God he knows that you a li-ah
Lyin' in his palm and you there 'cuz you a sinnah
Sinnah in his hands, and he roastin' you fo' dinnah.
14. Verse 10
[Gottfried Leibniz]
My calculus be infinitesimally small
But Gottfried Leibniz still knows how to ball
Just 'cuz there's evil in the world
Don't mean God ain't good
I make the ladies scream his name across my optimal hood
15. Hook
16. Verse 11
[René Descartes]
Yo perception's unreliable
But you can trust this one
I'll blow your mind out of your body
Like a bullet outta gun
And when the day comes that the lord calls for me
Decartes' tombstone gonna read "I ball therefore I be"
17. Verse 11
[John Rawls]
Let's slow it down nigga now this is John Rawls
If you don't like thought experiments then suck on my balls
If you think that was racist you don't get my tack
'Cuz I wouldn't hate on niggas if I might be black
Ladies line up if you think you got a chance
Hatas get behind the veil of ignorance
18. Outro
[Saint Augustine]
Shit boys
That was all way outta line
Youse fucked up
I'm out
Take these pears
