GUEST LIST: 13 More Aphorism/Movie Title Mashups

We have been graced with a GUEST LIST from Laura Kleinbaum, who gives us a sequel to the riffing started by Peter in this list.  Thanks, Laura, and to anyone else who wants to write a guest list, send it to us and we'll totally post it if we love you enough!

13. Don't throw the Baby's Day Out with the bathwater.

12. All roads lead to Roman Holiday

11. Raining cats and Hotel for Dogs

10. Be the change you wish to see in the Waterworld

9. Slow and steady wins the Race to Witch Mountain

8. Mi casa es su Casablanca

7. Beauty is in the I've Loved You So Long 

(of the beholder is where that was going...)

6. Beauty is only skin Deep Impact

5. Time heals All the President's Men

4. Shot in the Armageddon

3. Up shit's creek without A Walk to Remember

2. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on Meet the Fockers

1. Always the bridesmaid. Never the Brideshead Revisited

Top 15 Aphorism/Movie Title Mashups

Hey! A lot of people like mashups. (Unless you are Laksh.) Also, aphorisms and movies. Well, what if I told you that you could mashup aphorisms with movie titles! IT IS THE BEST GAME. Here are some examples! (Some of them are even true--this is the kind of humor people have been striving for since the invention of laughter in 1525!!!)

15. When the going gets tough, the tough Get Shorty.

14. American Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

13. Out of sight, Out of Sight.

12. A bird in the hand is worth Two if By Sea.

11. Every cloud has a Silver Surfer.

10. Waste not, want Not Another Teen Movie.

9. 24 Hour Party People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

8. We have nothing to fear but Fear itself.
(Note: This is TRUE. Laksh showed me this movie and it was terrifying.)

7. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for Say Anything.

6. Curiosity killed the Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

5. In this life, nothing is certain but death and Texasville.

4. All bad poetry springs from genuine Feeling Minnesota.
(Note: This is also painfully true.)

3. Every dog has his Day of the Dead.

2. To thine own self be True Lies.

1. What comes up Must Love Dogs.

Top 7 Aphorisms for the Avaricious

So, I actually wrote this list for McSweeneys, but they weren't cool enough for it (that is what their e-mail actually said, and no, you can't see it), so it's goin HEE-YAH!

7. The early bird gets the monopoly on worm trade.

6. All that glitters can be marketed as gold

5. A friend in need is a chump.

4. A rose by any other name would reduce in cultural relevance and fetch less on an open market.

3. If it's not broken, charge to not fix it.

2. Count your chickens before, after, and while they hatch.  Someone is trying to steal your chickens.

1. In the land of the blind, the cane salesman is king.