Top 3 Reasons to Come to the Calgary Whalers SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!!

Hey guys, I know that I said I would stop gumming this up with plugs but I was FILLED WITH LIES!!!!  Because I think you should really go to this show (8:30 at Broadway Comedy Club, 318 W. 53rd St.), and here's why:

3. The following people are performing: Sam Grittner, Joe Cocozzello, Brandon Gulya, John Knefel, Julie Notwicz, Michael Grinspan

These people are all great!  I have seen half of them and they are great, and I have not seem half of them and they are great, too!!!

2. I will be doing 10 new minutes of stand-up

I was just looking through my shit and realized that I can actually do a completely new 10 minutes, and not just the new 6-7/10 that I usually try to do at these.  Actually, I think I will overlap 1 minute just because I'm incorporating something I did before into a larger bit.  But anyway, you already know I'm hilarious, so see ten more NEW!!! minutes of my hilarity!

1. IT IS THE WHALERS SIX-MONTH ANNIVERSARY, AND THEIR FATE IS IN YOUR HANDS

I love Justin Grace and Mike Pullan, and I love the show they've been hosting for the past several months.  They're getting the big room at Broadway Comedy Club this time, which will be a way sweeter venue than they usually get, but they've gotta FILL IT UP with YOUR BUTTS if they want to keep doing this (and they do and they should)!!!  SO GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ASS AND COME.  YOU HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING FOR ANYONE IN YOUR LIFE AND I HATE YOU JUST KIDDING BUT SERIOUSLY COME.

Top 3 Reasons to Come See Calgary Whalers Present the Deck Today (Monday, January 19)

Occasionally I do these when I am going to perform some stand-up!  Hooray, these posts are ubiquitous and annoying!  The time is 8:30 PM and the place is Broadway Comedy Club.

3. Justin and Mike will be hosting like USUAL

They will be great hosts like they always are and great people and stuff and also maybe they will talk about the fact that their MADE follow-up has now aired even though I haven't actually seen it but I heard that it did air.  COOL.

2. Sam Grittner, Andrew Ward, For Richard Stands, Mancrush, and Mickey and Sandy will be there

Grittner has been there before, and he's very funny.  I haven't seen any of the rest of these groups before, but I'm sure they'll be great!

1. I will be doing a fully new 10 minutes

Yes these lists always end with me being self-important and telling you to come see me!  This time it will be 10 completely new minutes that you have never heard before! NICE.  Also though some of it might be kinda crappy since I've never done it before.  But some of it will be hilarious and all the more so for being so brand spanking new.  NICE AGAIN.

Top 6 Reasons To Go See The Calgary Whalers Present: The Deck on Monday, November 10th (today!)

Okay, if you feel like you're having deja vu, well, yeah, I posted a similar self-promoting list two weeks ago, when I was performing at the same event.  And yeah, I'm turning this into an endless string of plugs for myself.  I am doing this because I am great and deserve all the plugs.  Here is why you should come see me (Rob Trump) and several other people/groups perform sketch/stand-up/improv--8 PM at Broadway Comedy Club (318 W 53rd Street), $5 cover and one-drink minimum:

6. The stand-up comic Aaron Haber and the improv group Secret Promise Circle will be performing

Alright, so I've got no clue who either of these people or groups are, but read that similar older list (God I am lazy) to see why unknown entities are great.  Last time, the performers I didn't know were excellent, and I have every reason to believe they will be so this time as well.

5. Michael Grinspan will be performing stand-up

Now, before Michael gets offended, since I put him as my #2 reason to see the show last time, let it be known that it does not reflect negatively on him--he was excellent, and I was very impressed by his stand-up set.  The reason he has moved down is that there are just exponentially more awesome things at this show than there were at the last show.  Anyway, Michael was very funny last time, and I am hoping for a return of the fantastic bit about "Never Have I Ever."

4. The sketch group Brando will be performing

So here's something cool--I've actually seen Brando perform before.  They were the first part of a two-part show with Kate McKinnon's hilarious one-woman show being the second part, and the one I went to see.  So, naturally, I was skeptical of anything else I had to sit through.  But Brando was great.  Really, consistently funny, smart, well-written, and not stupid "theater kid" sketch comedy.  I'm excited to see them again.

3. Justin Grace and Mike Pullan ("The Calgary Whalers") will be hosting, and there will be MTV cameras there to record their every move

That's right, this evening will be taped by MTV, as a follow-up to an episode of Made that featured Grace and Pullan.  I'm hoping they don't actually use any footage of me, since I don't really want to be on the record saying some of the stuff I'm going to say.  But whatever, balls-out.  Anyway, you could be the background crowd in a follow-up episode of Made, hosted by two funny dudes!  Sounds awesome to me!

2. DC Pierson of Derrick Comedy will be performing stand-up

If you have the internet, you are probably aware of Derrick Comedy from highly-circulated videos like this one and this one.  But the best Derrick sketch is not either of those.  It is this one:

DC Pierson is the long-haired, nerdy-lookin' guy who usually plays the straight man in their videos, as he does in that one.  He's very funny, and the group in general has basically rejuvenated my faith that the internet can make stars out of people doing real comedy, not just people doing doing goofy non-sequitur "internet comedy."  Derrick is an inspiration to us all, and I'm really excited to see what Pierson's stand-up is like.

1. I will be performing stand-up

Who are you kidding?  Of course this was going to be #1.  If you saw my ten-minute set last time, and agreed with me that I was hilarious, then you will also find this funny, but not too repetitive.  I'll be doing about 60% material you've never seen if you've only seen me at that last show, so it's worth seeing me even if you did.  Included in that 6 minutes of previously unseen will be (mini-list):

1. the most offensive thing I've ever written, which I've held off over a year after writing before trying to perform it (read: possible train wreck, gotta be there)

2. a story about me doing illegal things (what illegal things?  BE THERE)

Top 6 Reasons to Go See The Calgary Whalers Present: The Deck

So, on Monday, 8 PM, at the Broadway Comedy Club (318 W. 53rd St.), there will be a show in which I (Rob Trump) will be performing some stand-up comedy.  It is called The Calgary Whalers Present: The Deck, and it promises to be glorious.  Here are some reasons you should go:

6. Luke Thayer will be performing stand-up

Okay, I'll be completely honest, I have not actually met Luke Thayer, nor do I know anything about him.  But that is a WILD CARD and if you have ever played Uno then you know what wild cards do (hint: win).  Also, I Googled him and found this little profile of him and he looks fun and now I feel creepy.

5. Spare Change will be performing

What will they be performing????  I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!  I don't know if Spare Change is an improv group or a sketch group or a rock group or a painting group or a groupie group or a grouper.  It is also hard for me to Google them as "spare change" is actually a really common phrase (who knew?).  But in this case, consider them an even WILDER card, like Wild Draw Four or something, and you wish you were holding a lot of those cards like you wish you had a lot of Spare Change (onstage and in your pocket).

4. I heard two weeks ago was a damn good time

I'll come clean that I wasn't there two weeks ago (I might've been in the audience, but instead I was doing five minutes at an open mic that was totally LAMER than this could ever possibly be!), but all reports back from the event were a positive and rockin' good time.  I have no reason to believe that this week will be any less rockin' and may even be more rockin'????  IT IS UP TO YOU, THE VIEWER!!!  but not really but the people who it is actually up to will be on their top form.

3. Justin Grace and James Michael Pullan ("The Calgary Whalers") will be hosting

Okay, here are some people that I know or half of a group of people that I know or something.  They will probably be doing some combination of talking-at-ya and sketches, and I know from PERSONAL, PRIVATE experience, that Justin Grace is a funny fellow.  I do not actually know his good friend James Michael Pullan (and I cannot imagine that he goes by all three of those cumbersome names), but I can only assume that Justin would not consort with a man who was not also kneeslapper-inducing.  Plus I heard their stuff was good last time.

2. Michael Grinspan will be performing stand-up

You know Michael Grinspan from Chowdah, The Fed, the creation of "Fascbook: the Facebook Group for Fascist[s],"  and general campus visibility.  I know Michael Grinspan from a hole in the wall, but just barely, as he was behind the hole in the wall last time I stuck my penis in it as part of a formulaic joke (I don't know what that meant).  Michael Grinspan has on occasion made the rafters ring with laughter so that their ringing shattered glass and it was the glass that the rafters were made of in a house of glass where I was throwing stones and what the hell stop writing Rob.  Plus, I heard his stuff was good last time.

1. I will be performing stand-up

Are you kidding?  This is totally the reason you want to go most.  I am hilarious.  I will be hilarious for ten minutes.  STRAIGHT.