Monday, March 9, 2009

Top 12 Versions of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" that I Would Still Like to See on YouTube

The internet has given us much.  Mostly, it has given us a massive amount of versions of YouTube users dancing to Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)."  There's a little-girl version, a big-girl version, an anorexic-man-in-a-Speedo version, and even an entirely reworded world-traveling version.  But this craze is not exhausted yet.  There are still so many more directions that the internet could take it.

12. "Single Ladies (50-year-old male lawyers carrying briefcases version)"

This version has 50-year-old male lawyers carrying briefcases.  They hold the briefcases in their right hands, so when they flip their hands back and forth, amicus curae briefs fly everywhere.

11. "Single Ladies (upside-down naked hermaphrodite version)"

In this version, the performer is completely upside down, imitating using only arms the movements that Beyonce does with her legs, and with legs the movement that Beyonce does with her arms.  Also, he/she is a naked hermaphrodite.

10. "Ladies With Husbands (Shouldn't Have Put a Ring On It)"

In this one, the women are physically tied to their no-good husbands via chains.  They struggle to break them, but they cannot.   Their movements are impaired and their dancing sucks.

9. "Single Ladies (unborn fetus version)"

This version is performed by unborn fetuses.  At the end the camera zooms up and out and there are a ton of fetuses that form the words "RIGHT TO LIFE! I AM A PERSON TOO!"  It is a powerful anti-abortion statement.

8. "Single Ladies (Beyonce dances to Beyonce version)"

This is like the one where that skinny scantily clad dude dances and the video of Beyonce is next to him, but it's Beyonce dancing, and Beyonce is next to her.  She fucks up all the moves because she is on hard drugs.

7. "Shingle Ladies"

In this version, all the women have shingles.

6. "Single Ladies (TLC version)"

This is just straight up re-enacted by TLC, minus Left-Eye Lopez but with a Left-Eye impersonator.  Then TLC claims they wrote the song and a massive copyright battle ensues.  TLC actually wins, but not for the reason you'd think.

5. "Single Ladies (Gary Busey version)"

Just an episode of I'm with Busey, with "Single Ladies" on loop in the background for the entire episode.  Faint loop.  You can barely hear it.

4. "Single Ladies (coffeemaker dance version)"

Three coffeemakers reenact the dance with astounding precision.

3. "Bindle Ladies (Put a Polka-Dotted Sack On It)"

All three women are hobos and/or running away from home.  The altered lyrics teach you how to ride the rails and offer your work services to farms.

2. "Menstruating Ladies (Don't Put Anything On It)"

In this one, all three women are menstruating everywhere, all the time.  It is beautiful because the period is beautiful.  It is a powerful feminist statement.

1. "Dingleberries (Put a...oh God, fuck this)"

I hate myself.


jordy said...

pringle ladies (self explanatory)(also, could feature pyramid of cans)

kringle ladies (girl santas/mrs clauses/slutty elves)

inglewood ladies (rodney king's on it) <-- that one is a stretch.

Professor Remix said...

I just like that the original song was based on the idea of her having a really hot ring finger.