Wednesday, February 25, 2009
55. lol recycling
54. lol snowy owls
53. lol coral reefs
52. lol energy efficiency
51. lol net neutrality
50. lol conflict diamonds
49. lol veterans of foreign wars
48. lol globalization
47. lol privatization
46. lol the housing bubble
45. lol stimulus package
44. lol bipartisanship
43. lol monogamy
42. lol two-state solution
41. lol reparations
40. lol universal health care
39. lol Large Hadron Collider
38. lol quagmire
37. lol caves
36. lol Mohammed
34. lol Jesus the prophet
33. lol Jesus the son
32. lol no child left behind
31. lol children
30. lol childhood
29. lol adulthood
28. lol voter apathy
27. lol yes we did
26. lol mavericks
25. lol lipstick on a pitbull
24. lol Joe the Plumber
23. lol Joe the Biden
22. lol viral presidency
21. lol AIDS virus
20. lol A-Rod
19. lol the love of the game
18. lol the book of love
17. lol the line of David
16. lol David at the dentist
15. lol Charlie bit me
14. lol Chocolate Rain
13. lol Purple Rain
12. lol bad moon rising
11. lol China on the rise
10. lol Israel and Palestine
9. lol Florida and Ohio
8. lol Tom and Katie
7. lol the levies
6. lol Kanye West
5. lol West Africa
4. lol East Berlin
3. lol North Korea
2. lol the South will rise again
1. lol tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Monday, February 23, 2009
10. Kansas, "To the stars through difficulties"
Note: Do not trust the Kansas Space Program.
9. Maine, "I direct"
But what I really want to do is... produce?
8. Massachusetts, "By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty"
...but only liberty on Thursdays, and only Thursdays with a lunch special, and only if they have cheese fries, but actually, if the cheese isn't muenster, forget it...
7. Oregon, "She flies with her own wings"
The next big hit from Sarah McLachlan.
6. Alaska, "North to the future"
This sounds like the wackiest mashup of North and Back to the Future. Someone make that, immediately.
5. Texas, "Friendship"
Attention, Texas. "Friendship" is not a motto. It is a word. Aside from that, it is a song from Anything Goes. Maybe you should just take "Anything goes" as your motto. Seems more fitting. (Also, speaking of Texas... a big ol' "Well done!" to Texan friend-of-the-blog Grace Parra, who's writing about bakeries for The Examiner these days! If you live in LA, you should probably go to all these bakeries she writes about.)
4. Michigan, "If you seek a beautiful peninsula, look around you"
Incidentally, this is also the B-side to Britney Spears' "If You Seek Amy".
3. New Mexico, "It grows as it goes"
Leave it to the Land of Enchantment to have a statewide dick joke for a motto.
2. North Carolina, "To be rather than to seem"
I have been to North Carolina and can attest to the accuracy of this motto. You get there and it seems kinda lame... then you realize it is kinda lame.
1. Maryland, "Manly deeds, womanly words"
Welcome to Maryland, the Tranny State!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
9. Queen Ants Make Distinctive Sounds That Are Mimicked by a Butterfly Social Parasite
Francesca Barbero, Jeremy A Thomas, Simona Bonelli, Emilio Balletto, and Karsten Schönrogge, published 6 February 2009
Sounds made by queen ants denoting rank are copied by the larvae and pupae of a parasitic butterfly, facilitating their infiltration into ant colonies.
"We conclude that acoustical mimicry provides another route for infiltration for ~10,000 species of social parasites that cheat ant societies."
Finally, the scientists are speaking for the ants.
8. Broadband Ground-Plane Cloak
R. Liu, C. Ji, J. J. Mock, J. Y. Chin, T. J. Cui, and D. R. Smith, published 16 January 2009
An automated design process arranges thousands of metamaterial components to cloak an object on a metal surface.
"The possibility of cloaking an object from detection by electromagnetic waves has recently become a topic of considerable interest."
UM WHY WAS I NOT NOTIFIED ABOUT INVISIBILITY CLOAK RESEARCH!?!!? CHERYL, GET THE EFF IN HERE YOU ARE SO FRIGGIN' FIRED!!!
7. Strong Release of Methane on Mars in Northern Summer 2003
Michael J. Mumma, Geronimo L. Villanueva, Robert E. Novak, Tilak Hewagama, Boncho P. Bonev, Michael A. DiSanti, Avi M. Mandell, and Michael D. Smith, published 20 February 2009
Earth-based spectrometers have detected seasonal variations of methane emissions from certain locations on Mars in 2003.
"In northern midsummer, the principal plume contained ~19,000 metric tons of methane, and the estimated source strength (≥0.6 kilogram per second) was comparable to that of the massive hydrocarbon seep at Coal Oil Point in Santa Barbara, California."
6. Avian Paternal Care Had Dinosaur Origin
David J. Varricchio, Jason R. Moore, Gregory M. Erickson, Mark A. Norell, Frankie D. Jackson, and John J. Borkowski, published 19 December 2008
The large egg clutches of troodontid and oviraptor dinosaurs and evidence that fossils of brooding dinosaurs were males shows that paternal care was ancestral to birds.
"To assess parental care in Cretaceous troodontid and oviraptorid dinosaurs, we examined clutch volume and the bone histology of brooding adults."
Heh, heh... broody dinosaurs boning.
5. Brown Clouds over South Asia: Biomass or Fossil Fuel Combustion?
Örjan Gustafsson, Martin Kruså, Zdenek Zencak, Rebecca J. Sheesley, Lennart Granat, Erik Engström, P. S. Praveen, P. S. P. Rao, Caroline Leck, and Henning Rodhe, published 23 January 2009
Biomass burning accounts for at least one-half of carbon-rich aerosols in the Asian atmospheric brown cloud that forms each winter.
Brown Clouds over South Asia: Biomass, Fossil Fuel Combustion... OR AWESOME PROG-ROCK CONCEPT ALBUM TITLE!?!?!?!
4. The Spreading of Disorder
Kees Keizer, Siegwart Lindenberg, and Linda Steg, published 12 December 2008
Upon observing signs of social disorder (such as littering or graffiti), individuals are more likely to disobey a variety of social rules, including prohibitions against theft.
"Imagine that the neighborhood you are living in is covered with graffiti, litter, and unreturned shopping carts. Would this reality cause you to litter more, trespass, or even steal?"
Wait, wait, wait... what's wrong with unreturned shopping carts? You can't play with them if you return them!
3. Selfish Genetic Elements Promote Polyandry in a Fly
T. A. R. Price, D. J. Hodgson, Z. Lewis, G. D. D. Hurst, and N. Wedell, published 21 November 2008
Genes that confer a deleterious sex ratio in Drosophila also decrease male fertility and promote repetitive mating in females, providing a possible explanation of polyandry.
"It is unknown why females mate with multiple males when mating is frequently costly and a single copulation often provides enough sperm to fertilize all a female's eggs."
Yah, tell me about it. HOLLER!
2. A Great-Appendage Arthropod with a Radial Mouth from the Lower Devonian Hunsrück Slate, Germany
Gabriele Kühl, Derek E. G. Briggs, and Jes Rust, published 6 February 2009
Fossil evidence for the great-appendage arthropods extends to more recent periods by about 100 million years.
"Schinderhannes bartelsi shows an unusual combination of anomalocaridid and euarthropod characters, including a highly specialized swimming appendage."
Yeah, those arthropods better have a radial mouth if their appendages are so great. (Prehistoric entomology and blowjob jokes do mix!)
1. Harmonic Convergence in the Love Songs of the Dengue Vector Mosquito
Lauren J. Cator, Ben J. Arthur, Laura C. Harrington, and Ronald R. Hoy, published 20 February 2009
Male and female mosquitoes change their wing beat frequencies to match each other as a prelude to mating.
"These findings revise widely accepted limits of acoustic behavior in mosquitoes."
Awwwwww, groundbreaking and adorable!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Back in days of yore, Rob and I were in college together. (Rob is still there, in fact.) We did lots of fun, collegey things together--one of which was devising a grueling eating contest called the Tour de Ham Del. The Tour de Ham Del was a semester-long assault on the palette and stomach lining, whereby participants were challenged to eat each of the named sandwiches at the Hamilton Deli--Ham Del, for short--over the course of a semester. There were, at the time, 29 named sandwiches. You can read more here. Anyway, Rob won, but then they invented a new sandwich and I got to it first. Just last week, they came up with an additional sandwich, the Ben Arnold. I can only assume that Ben is short for Benedict, because it is a traitor of a sandwich. It has sundried tomatoes on it, which we all know are bullshit. Rob ate the Ben Arnold before I did, so I suppose in some bullshit universe where sundried tomatoes are allowed on sandwiches, he's the current champ.
Anyway. Here are the top 10 sandwiches at Ham Del. You won't find the fucking Ben Arnold on this list.
10. Mojo Melt
Ingredients: hot roast beef, melted american, coleslaw, russian dressing on toasted hero
Commentary: This sandwich is like a hybrid between a cheese steak and salad. In the battle between cheese steak and salad, there can be only one victor. Your stomach.
Ingredients: chicken cutlet, melted mozzarella, tomato, and our own secret sauce on a toasted hero
Commentary: Oh, Ham Del. "Secret sauce"? I just got that. Really. (Eds. note: Not really.) Leave it to Ham Del to take bad 90s jokes and put them on a sandwich.
8. Oh Barbara
Ingredients: Virginia ham, salami, pepperoni, melted muenster, lettuce, tomato on a toasted hero
Commentary: Attention--are you a fan of fatty meats?! Of course you are, you are a human being! That is basically your whole deal. This is the sandwich for you--although if you eat it more than once a month, you are basically committing suicide.
7. The Gipper
Ingredients: hot roast beef, grilled onions, melted provolone, brown gravy, on a toasted hero
Commentary: Let me tell you about gravy. I am a huge fan of it. I'm always looking for a good, new gravy recipe or a fun, new use for it. Using it on this sandwich was a brilliant idea.
6. Balboa/Cordon Bleu/Buffalo Blue
Ingredients: some combination of chicken cutlet, sauce, cheese, another cheese, and maybe ham
Commentary: These three sandwiches are all basically the same. I mean, they're not supposed to be, but if you order a Cordon Bleu, you will invariably get a sandwich that is essentially the average of these three. Some ham here, some hot sauce there. Oh well. I'm not saying this is a bad thing.
5. Monte Cristo
Ingredients: hot turkey, ham, bacon, swiss, lettuce, tomato on a toasted hero
Commentary: The Monte Cristo is a relatively canonical sandwich... like the Reuben or the Croque Monsieur. That being said, Ham Del does the canon proud with this entry.
Ingredients: hot roast beef, onions, hot peppers, bacon, american cheese, lettuce, tomato, and BBQ sauce
Commentary: This is basically the Tex-Mex with cheddar instead of American cheese. Therefore, the difference between a New York police officer and someone standing on the Texas/Mexico border is the type of cheese they are covered in. Anyway, this is a great sandwich.
Ingredients: chicken salad, bacon, lettuce, tomato on a toasted hero
Commentary: Plus one million points for inventiveness. This is a combination I had never, ever considered until Rob told me that this was his favorite Ham Del sandwich. Chicken salad, to start with, is not really my favorite meat salad. I get tuna salad... I didn't use to get chicken salad. THEN, you throw in bacon, and your mouth is like, "Wait, you're doing what to me?" But the result is sheer bliss. You grow to crave it, to need it.
Ingredients: grilled smoked turkey, melted provolone, grilled onions, lettuce, tomato, mustard, mayo on a toasted hero
Commentary: The Twister is the old stand-by of Ham Del sandwiches, and I say that with all due affection and care. It's like a cliche of a sandwich. The reason so many people order it is that it's actually wonderful. It's a taste you remember, and one you can return to lovingly after a long hiatus. Also, it's good on a wrap.
1. Let It Ride
Ingredients: chicken cutlet, melted swiss, onion rings, brown gravy on a garlic toasted hero
Commentary: The day I discovered this, I was born anew in Christ. Except Christ was a sandwich. Ew. I've already said my piece about gravy--ie, as condiments go, gravy owns--but let me close this list with a few words on onion rings. Onion rings are friggin' baller. Especially on a sandwich. When you eat an onion ring on a sandwich, you are saying to the world, "Hey. I know I'm subverting the logical consumption mechanism of this food. I don't need to eat it as a side. It can and will be a topping. I am just that hardcore. Do you want to stop me? Don't. I will defeat you."
Monday, February 16, 2009
Drew is visiting Aunt Blythe for two months. He hears cries and starts to see things. Then he finds Andrew, who has diptheria. Andrew wants to switch with Drew for a cure. Drew agrees.
When Drew goes to bed one night during a storm he sees the attic door open. That's when he meets Andrew.
" You can't be alive," Drew whispered, "you can't - it's impossible."
" Do I look as bad as that?" Andrew asked. "Dr. Fulton told Mama I was like to die before morning, but he saved me from blood poisoning last year and the measles the year before that, and cough and whooping cough as well. Hannah lived through diptheria. She says I will too."
Others will like this book because it is very interesting and mysterious. Drew is not realistic. You will find mysterious things happening throughout this book. At times it will make you shiver. If you like mystery and ghost books, you will like this book.
I would give Time For Andrew a 1 with1 being the best.
The characters in the story are well developed and are described extremely well. The author used the technique of describing characters by what other characters say about them. The main characters are Drew and Andrew...two boys who look exactly alike.
The setting is in the late 1950's and 1910 and the main setting is Aunt Bylthe's house. A few backdrop settings are France and the train track.
I would rate this book a 10 for its extremely amazing description.