Monday, February 23, 2009

Top 10 Most Ridiculous State Mottos

The morning after writing a 1700-word Oscar-live-blog post, you probably were not expecting a follow-up. BUT THAT IS WHY I AM SOME SORT OF INTERNET SUPERHERO! (And also, your best friend.)

10. Kansas, "To the stars through difficulties"
Note: Do not trust the Kansas Space Program.

9. Maine, "I direct"
But what I really want to do is... produce?

8. Massachusetts, "By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty"
...but only liberty on Thursdays, and only Thursdays with a lunch special, and only if they have cheese fries, but actually, if the cheese isn't muenster, forget it...

7. Oregon, "She flies with her own wings"
The next big hit from Sarah McLachlan.

6. Alaska, "North to the future"
This sounds like the wackiest mashup of North and Back to the Future. Someone make that, immediately.

5. Texas, "Friendship"
Attention, Texas. "Friendship" is not a motto. It is a word. Aside from that, it is a song from Anything Goes. Maybe you should just take "Anything goes" as your motto. Seems more fitting. (Also, speaking of Texas... a big ol' "Well done!" to Texan friend-of-the-blog Grace Parra, who's writing about bakeries for The Examiner these days! If you live in LA, you should probably go to all these bakeries she writes about.)

4. Michigan, "If you seek a beautiful peninsula, look around you"
Incidentally, this is also the B-side to Britney Spears' "If You Seek Amy".

3. New Mexico, "It grows as it goes"
Leave it to the Land of Enchantment to have a statewide dick joke for a motto.

2. North Carolina, "To be rather than to seem"
I have been to North Carolina and can attest to the accuracy of this motto. You get there and it seems kinda lame... then you realize it is kinda lame.

1. Maryland, "Manly deeds, womanly words"
Welcome to Maryland, the Tranny State!

3 comments:

alish said...

Of all the North/Back to the Future mashups that would indeed be the wackiest.

Ay'Ms Will said...

My friend was wondering why none of our states were included... So I went and did some Googling, and also, left my own comment under. --

California - "Eureka! I have found it"
Found What...? Vacuum?...Grandma?... Jesus?... Wha?... Found what?... And why are we all flooding to California if you have found it already? Besides you have the Govenator, no need to find anything, he's got it ALL under control.

D.C. - "Justice for All"
....Wait Wait Wait... Our Capital plagarized the Pledge of Allegiance? Oh.

New York - "Ever Upward"
Niceee... Just like the NY ego's, the NY terrain, the NY everything. NY does occupy most of the "NorthEast" A huge CHUNK on the map is NYS... Ever Upward... Fitting... How about "Cocked!"...No? Dangit!

jordy said...

hahaha peter i laughed out loud at many of these. also i like when people write about alaska, because i lived there. also i like when people write about trannies, because i live that.