Anyway, I was working on a list titled "Top 14 References to Hamlet in Pop Culture" and I stumbled upon this, a retelling of Hamlet via Facebook news feed events. Pretty brilliant. But that was 2008. This is 2009. We are of the Twitterverse, not the Facebook-o-sphere. (What?) In any event, I updated the bard's classic text for even more modern audiences.
...with equally weighted apologies to William Shakespeare and Sarah Schmelling:
1. The Twitter Hamlet
RIP Old Hamlet (aka Dad)... looks like i'm gonna be back at elsinore sooner than I thought
7:30 PM Oct 2nd, from txt
Um... @queen_g, @claudius_rex Srsly? wtf...
2:35 PM Oct 4th, from txt
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHDSGSDFGFGDSFGSDFGSFFFF
2:56 PM Oct 4th, from txt
@flower_gurl Did u not get my letters?
3:45 PM Oct 4th, from txt
@my_sisters_keeper Have fun in France, doucher! PS Did ur sis not get my letters?
3:49 PM Oct 4th, from txt, in reply to my_sisters_keeper
@danes_best_friend Say what?
4:15 PM Oct 4th, from txt, in reply to danes_best_friend
@danes_best_friend Yo, meet me tonite upon the platform where you watch
4:22 PM Oct 4th, from txt, in reply to danes_best_friend
You guys, major shit went down. I'm all of a sudden feelin kinda revengey! (Is that a word... lol)
1:03 AM Oct 5th, from txt
@danes_best_friend Be cool, k?
2:19 AM Oct 5th, from txt
@claudius_rex @queen_g @flower_gurl AAAAAH I SO CRAZY LOLOLOLOL
5:52 AM Oct 5th, from txt
SOTD: "Suicide is Painless" - that song from MASH... actually, I dunno though, u guys...
3:12 PM Oct 5th, from txt
@flower_gurl You might wanna check this out: http://is.gd/nunnery, Spoiler alert... you'd look great in a habit
4:31 PM Oct 5th, from txt, in reply to flower_gurl
HEY @just_polonius FISHMONGER!
6:24 PM Oct 5th, from txt
@rsncrntzNgldnstrn Why r u here?
7:01 PM Oct 5th, from txt, in reply to rsncrntzNgldnstrn
@rsncrntzNgldnstrn Srsly why r u here?
7:02 PM Oct 5th, from txt, in reply to rsncrntzNgldnstrn
@rsncrntzNgldnstrn I DON'T BELIEVE YOOOOOOOOOU
7:04 PM Oct 5th, from txt, in reply to rsncrntzNgldnstrn
@rsncrntzNgldnstrn LOL u rly wanna know? I'm just so f*ckin tired of all of this...
7:07 PM Oct 5th, from txt, in reply to rsncrntzNgldnstrn
AAAAAH u guys I have been a f*ckin chump lately... no worries, I got a sweet idea that'll change everything. I'ma make you proud dad!!!
7:26 PM Oct 5th, from txt
@claudius_rex, @queen_g, @just_polonius Busy tomorrow nite? The players are in town! SO EXCITED!!!
11:22 PM Oct 5th, from txt
@flower_gurl Girl, if u want me to calm down, u know what to do... lol
7:34 PM Oct 6th, from txt
OH MAN I LOVE WHEN I AM RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!
8:11 PM Oct 6th, from txt
@queen_g WTF DO YOU WANT WOMAN
9:42 PM Oct 6th, from txt
@my_sisters_keeper Yo my bad...
11:09 PM Oct 6th, from txt
@my_sister_keeper Nvm you'll see. PS Btw no worries about your sis and those letters.
1:32 AM Oct 7th, from txt, in reply to my_sisters_keeper
@king_of_england Yo I need you to do a few dudes for me
4:22 PM Oct 9th, from txt
@danes_best_friend Attacked by pirates! Never even made it to England... home soon, shit is CRAZE
4:46 AM Oct 12th, from txt
@claudius_rex Hey hey hey look who you were totally not expecting to come back to your castle... see ya in a few
4:48 AM Oct 12th, from txt
@flower_gurl I know this is a lil late but... <3
5:21 PM Oct 13th, from txt
@my_sisters_keeper THIS SHIT IS ON
8:35 PM Oct 13th, from txt, in reply to my_sisters_keeper
I know I'm not the first one to say it or nothin, but u guys... we're ALL gonna die someday
10:05 PM Oct 13th, from txt
@queen_g LATER MOMS (i forgive you kinda...)
11:24 AM Oct 14th, from txt
@claudius_rex Peace f*cker!
11:25 AM Oct 14th, from txt
@my_sisters_keeper Srsly? F*ck...
11:26 AM Oct 14th, from txt, in reply to my_sisters_keeper
@danes_best_friend Yo tell my story, aight? The rest is silence... lol
11:28 AM Oct 14th, from txt
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