Saturday, May 30, 2009


Hey guys, I've been real busy with graduating and jet-setting around the country and all sorts of shit that you don't care about.  But what better way to announce my re-arrival with twenty-five more meatbones?  If you don't feel like clicking that, "meatbones" are situations or visuals that frequently crop up in fiction--especially cartoons--but which have little to no bearing on reality!  A lot of these came from other people, but I haven't documented that so scrupulously as I did last time.  Suffice to say, if you pointed one or more of these out to me, thanks!

25. A performer is bombing onstage, and a cane grabs him/her from the side and suddenly pulls him off.  His/her hat may be left behind.

24. Hunchbacks.  Everything about them.

23. A person is wearing a barrel because they are too poor to afford any clothes.

22. A bomb goes off in someone's face, and the only apparent damage is that their face is now covered in soot and their hair stands on end.  Optionally, they blink once afterwards.

21. A kangaroo wears boxing gloves.

20. Dogcatchers.  Everything about them.

19. Parents lying to their kids after a pet dies, claiming the pet went to a farm.

18. A kissing booth at a fair. (Has anyone ever seen one of these in real life?)

17. A dunk tank, especially one where a figure of authority (read: high school principal) is the dunkee.

16. Stealing someone's secret recipe, especially to win a baking competition.

15. A person lathers up a ton of sunscreen on his/her nose, rendering only the nose white while the rest of the skin looks normal.

14. A man is not at work or home because he has "Gone Fishin'".

13. A kid stuffs a towel under his door so he can read comic books with the flashlight on and his parents won't notice.

12. A "kick me" sign is placed on someone's back.

11. Murder mysteries.  Everything about them.

10. Someone at a party gets knocked into the pool, JUST at the point where everything is starting to get out of hand!

9. A lover throws a rock at a window to get the attention of his significant other.  It works!

8. A bad kid gets a lump of coal in his/her stocking for Christmas.

7. An elegant man's monocle pops off in surprise.

6. The freezer breaks, so everyone has to eat all the ice cream before it melts.

5. Someone announces plans to dig a hole to China, or attempts this, or succeeds.

4. A car stops, a body is thrown out, and the car continues on its way.

3. The end of a date is announced with a disapproving party declaring, "Check, please!"

2. A drunk person sees pink elephants.

1. A girl complains to a nice, sensitive guy about how she wishes she could meet more nice, sensitive guys.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...