Friday, May 8, 2009

Top 24 Hours During Which Fruit Paunch Will Be Doing Improv In the Next Day

Hey! Today is the day when the Columbia improv group Fruit Paunch begins the grueling, college-defining, and wholly unnecessary feat known as the 24 Hour Show. That means that if at any time between 5 o'clock on May 8th and 5 o'clock on May 9th you want to see some good improv comedy (performed by people who may be either drunk, hungover, or suffering from heatstroke), you should go over to the grassy area on the right side of Low Library (on the Columbia campus, duh).

24. 5pm-6pm
This is today, 5/8/09.

23. 6pm-7pm

22. 7pm-8pm

21. 8pm-9pm

20. 9pm-10pm
This will most likely be the qualitatively best hour of comedy during the entire 24 hours, as determined by science.

19. 10pm-11pm
I was lying about science. That claim was entirely arbitrary.

18. 11pm-12am

17. 12am-1am
This is tomorrow, 5/9/09.

16. 1am-2am
At this point, a herd of almuni will descend upon the improv group. The alumni will have just seen Obsessed at the Magic Johnson Theater on 125th and most likely will be wasted. They will also be totally ready to improv.

15. 2am-3am
At this point, only alumni will be improv-ing. Every time a current member of the group walks into a scene, they will be shot with an improv gun.

14. 3am-4am

13. 4am-5am
At this point, at least one alumni will be hooking up with a freshman. I'm looking at you, Caitlin.

12. 5am-6am
If you are actually here at this point--as an audience member--you are a hero. If you are actually here at this point--as a member of the group--you deserve every shake and shiver.

11. 6am-7am

10. 7am-8am
Bagels and coffee would be a nice thing to bring 'round about now.

9. 8am-9am

8. 9am-10am

7. 10am-11am
Despite a sense of rejuvenation, this hour will be inexplicably shitty, unless the group spends it team-shaving its hairiest member.

6. 11am-12pm

5. 12pm-1pm
Rumor has it that legendary director Ang Lee might show up! He can almost speak the language!

4. 1pm-2pm

3. 2pm-3pm
Group president and graduating senior Colin Drummond has sworn to eat at least one of his fellow improv-ers during this hour.

2. 3pm-4pm
IMPROV MUSICAL HOUR! (Kidding... maybe!)

1. 4pm-5pm
Give yourselves a hand, kids. You did improv for 24 hours, and not even for like, charity or anything.