Friday, May 15, 2009

Top 8 Short Plays I Wrote Because I Want To Be Like Rob

Hey, so recently, Rob posted a list of short plays he wrote about important social issues. Well, I read it and was inspired (read: jealous), so I gave it a try of my own (read: will never be Rob). Pretty cool, right!?

8. "Infinity"

Stephen Hawking spins his wheelchair in place.

Stephen Hawking: Time lasts along time lasts along time lasts along time lasts along time lasts along time...

Continue until time is done lasting a long time is done lasting a long time is done lasting a long time...

7. "Human Cloning"

A Republican senator accidentally trips into the Human Cloning machine. A duplicate Republican senator appears.

Both Republican Senators: I suddenly feel compelled to change my position on gay marriage!!!

They embrace and the world explodes. Its flaming shards spin backwards through time. A single drop of water (a tear?) falls from Heaven.

6. "Net Neutrality"

Wikipedia founder Jimbo Wales enters, in a flowing cape and flowing wig.


Jimbo Wales is devoured by a dinosaur.

5. "What Really Matters"

A man and a woman are in the midst of a heated argument.

Man: Sweet!

Woman: Salty!


Woman: SALTY!

Dennis McIssues: (enters) Guys, guys, come on... peace in the Middle East.

The man and the woman knock out Dennis McIssues and enjoy a bag of Sweet n' Salty Chex Mix together.

4. "An Artist's Voice"

In front of a closed curtain, a woman dressed in black and wearing a beret writes feverishly in her notebook. She slams the notebook shut and pumps her fist.

The Artist: THIS is a truly original idea! I have found my place!

The curtain rises, revealing one million other artists, frozen in the same position. All break freeze and begin consuming each other to the sound of Train's "Calling All Angels".

3. "The Coming Technological Singularity"

All the robots in the world make love until they give birth to the new age.

2. "Steroids"

Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez, and all those other bastards enter. They all have huge breasts under their baseball uniforms.


Barry Bonds: ...of having breasts!

Musical number: "There IS Crying in Baseball".

1. "The War on Drugs"

Two teens sit on a park bench. One smokes a joint, the other bounces a basketball.

Joint Teen: I am high on drugs!

Basketball Teen: I am high on life!

A DEA agent enters and shoots both teens.

DEA Agent: I am high on death!


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