Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The 31 Women Who Can Still Be the Mother of Ted's Children on How I Met Your Mother

If you haven't noticed, Rob and I are pretty big fans of How I Met Your Mother. It a) is one of the three best-written sitcoms on today, b) contains at least two of the top ten characters on TV today, and c) is THE most genuinely relatable show on television today. Call me crazy, but that's a quality I friggin' value in entertainment. If I'm going to let a bunch of people into my home every monday night, I want to feel like they should stick around for a beer once their 22 minutes are over. 

But who will be the eponymous mother! (PS: Band folks--that would be a sick name for a band. EPONYMOUS MOTHER!) Well, after three seasons and a handful of S4 episodes, a great many wonderful women have been written off as possible candidates for the mother of Ted's children. But 31 lovely ladies remain!!!

31. The Slutty Pumpkin (from the episode Slutty Pumpkin)

30. Mary the paralegal (from the episode Mary the Paralegal)

29. Margaret Thatcher (okay, enough of real things...)

28. Swoozie Kurtz

27. Betty White

26. Dakota Fanning

25. Virginia of “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” fame

24. St. Cecilia, patron saint of music

23. Jenna, from 30 Rock

22. Topanga

21. Lilith (from a little thing called The Bible)

20. Lilith (from a little thing called Fraiser)

19. Gloria Stuart

18. Joan Baez

17. Bonnie Tyler

16. Rue McClanahan

15. Nessie, who is actually a chick

14. Elaine Robinson

13. Molly Bloom

12. Jordan Baker

11. The girl with the pearl earring

10. The girl next door

9. Lil Kim

8. Beth Cooper

7. Winnie Cooper

6. Mr. Cooper (that is actually a dude…)

5. Mrs. Cooper (that is actually a dude, too?!)

4. Mrs. Fields (that is actually a robot sent from the past to destroy your hunger!!)

3. Mrs. Dalloway


1. Bea Arthur