Monday, October 20, 2008

Top 23 Wallace Stevens Poem Titles that Could be Subject Lines of Spam or Fwd E-mails

Also, I explain briefly the spam contents or other details.

23. "How to Live. What to Do"

Ad for online self-help course.

22. "Sketch of the Ultimate Politician"

A hand-drawn picture of Barack Obama with devil horns.

21. "Gigantomachia"

Dick pills.

20. "Reply to Papini"

You: "That's not even my name!"

19. "A Postcard from the Volcano"

You: "I don't even know anyone at a volcano!"

18. "Jumbo"

Dick pills.

17. "Woman Sings a Song for a Soldier Come Home"

Left-wing propaganda forward.

16. "Tom Mcgreevy, in America, Thinks of Himself As a Boy"

Right-wing propaganda forward.

15. "Man and Bottle"

Dick pills.

14. "High-Toned Old Christian Woman"

Elderly Christian singles.

13. "Girl in a Nightgown"

Young Christian mail-order brides.

12. "Man Whose Pharynx Was Bad"

"Dick" was misspelled "p-h-a-r-y-n-x."  Dick pills.

11. "Nudity at the Capital"

Duh.

10. "Nudity in the Colonies"

Duh.

9. "The Cuban Doctor"

Wants to sell you dick pills.  Duh.

8. "Wild Ducks, People and Distances"

You: "Weirdly accurate...that's exactly what these pictures are."

7. "No Possum, No Sop, No Taters"

You: "Weirdly inaccurate...these are just pictures of possum, sop, and taters."

6. "Frogs Eat Butterflies. Snakes Eat Frogs. Hogs Eat Snakes. Men Eat Hogs."

"You eat dick pills."

5. "The Man on the Dump"

"...wishes he had dick pills."

4. "A Lot of People Bathing in a Stream"

"...and all of them use dick pills."

3. "The Pleasures of Merely Circulating"

"...because of these dick pills."

2. "Extraordinary References"

"...for these dick pills."

1. "The Revolutionists Stop for Orangeade"

Dick pills.

Now wish me luck on finishing my Wallace Stevens paper!