Top 9 Republican VP Candidates that Got Eliminated by Vetting (And How!)

Well, I know this news is a little old, but John McCain is insisting that he knew about Sarah Palin's pregnant 17-year-old daughter before he named her his veep candidate.  That means that, yes, all of the other Republican candidates were vetted for more extreme reasons:

9. Fred Thompson

Reason: pregnant 13-year-old daughter

8. Rudy Giuliani

Reason: pregnant 10-year-old daughter

7. Tim Pawlenty

Reason: pregnant 8-year-old son

6. Jeb Bush

Reason: is a fucking Bush

5. Joe Lieberman

Reason: is a fucking Democrat

4. Mitt Romney

Reason: is a fuck

3. Bobby Jindal

Reason: is Indian

2. Colin Powell

Reason: is black

1. Condoleezza Rice

Reason: is a woman

(Yeah, I know what you're going to say, and that's what makes it funny, okay?)