The Top 14 Links I Have Forwarded in the Past Few Days

14. http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Supermarket-Indie-Rock-Cookbook/dp/1593762038

Including The Mountain Goats’ John Darnielle’s recipe for ginger fruit punch. (Although, unfortunately, after some research, it seems that JD disavowed this cookbook after they failed to send him a copy and edited the shit—sorta—out of his recipe.)

13. http://www.somethingawful.com/d/feature-articles/email-4cham-hijackers.php (Something Awful continues to lampoon the hell out of Levi Johnston, to my delight, as well as Rob's)

Something Awful: #1 in the nation in Levi Johnston-related humor.

12. http://endhits.portlandmercury.com/archives/2008/09/15/around-the-world-with-the-moun (map of all the places mentioned in Mountain Goats songs)

This really isn't that amusing unless you're a huge Mountain Goats fan and spend a lot of time trying to track down rare recordings of songs they have performed maybe once. ("Going to Buffalo"!? Does anyone have this? Hello? Internets, are you listening? On the internet, no one can hear you scream. Well. On second thought, they might hear it, but they probably won't comment.)

11. http://elitish.com/?p=83 (The Top 5 Best and Worst Pitchfork Media Reviews)

As co-owner/operator of a listblog, I have to spend some time researching my colleagues/competition. And, as an ashamed-to-admit-it Pitchfork regular, this was a fun little trip down dorky-memory lane. (“Oh man… I do remember that Lifter Puller review. That was weird! This internet man agrees with me! I’m okay, he’s okay!”)

10. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

Highlights include the Burman king who laughed to death, the baseball player who swung his bat too hard, and the compulsive hoarder who was crushed under his collection of stuff.

9. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/20/us/politics/20biden.html?hp and http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/20/bidens-gunsmoke-moment/ (A pair of great Biden pieces)

You guys, I really like Joe Biden. Like, I like like him. I don’t believe in that whole “guy you can have a beer with” thing, but if Joey B wants to have a beer with me, I’m totally cool with it.

8. http://www.forbes.com/opinions/2008/09/14/sarah-palin-feminism-oped-cx_hm_0915mansfield.html?feed=rss_popstories (A really shitty Forbes piece that asks if feminism was necessary, based on Sarah Palin's success)

Aaaaaaah, this is so bad… this is so so bad. You know how much I like like Joe Biden? That’s how much I hate hate Harvey Mansfield. Wait, what are you saying, Harv? Sarah Palin is the VP candidate and Hillary Clinton is out of the race because Miss Alaska has the capacity to love and be loved and Hill doesn’t? I’m sorry, I just had a stroke. (Also, this quote: “You may be sure that I am not the first one to notice that feminist women are unerotic.” I just had another stroke. Two strokes is unhealthy for one day?)

7. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIPZkNJS4-0 (Russian TV news report on the fall of Lehman Brothers) 

Surprisingly, this is the only Youtube entry on the list. Not the funniest video per se, until you realize that the first guy they interview is actually my friend Pitr and he’s telling the Russian media bald-faced lies. (PS: I had to google whether the correct usage is bald-faced or bold-faced. Either way, kudos to Pitr for pulling one over on the Ruskies!)

6. http://blog.wired.com/music/2008/09/could-stephen-c.html (Wired post on the recently announced Stephen Colbert Christmas special) 

In answer to the question posed by the headline: DUDES, NO! It’s going to be tee-riff! Just ‘cause Toby Keith is going to be part of the festivities, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it, y’all. I mean… I mean… Elvis Costello, guys! Declan MacManus! The little hands of concrete! The King of America! (Those are all the same people, to clarify.) Well done to the commenters on this post... no need for Toby-bashing. It only takes away from the time you can spend celebrating the promised Stewart-Colbert duet!

5. http://www.theonion.com/content/news/epa_shuts_down_local_ghost

I don’t know if I’m out of line in saying this, but has The Onion been better than average lately? Obviously it had it’s hey-dey, but the past few years certainly fall under the heading of “lull” in my estimation. Perhaps it’s election-year intensity that’s got everyone firing on all cylinders. (Also, the Onion News Network material is fan-friggin’-tastic. Honestly, it’s secretly some of the best comedy online right now.)

4. http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809873025/trailer (Trailer for Synechdoche, New York) 

This film looks ballin’ as all get-out. Kaufman’s directorial debut is reportedly quite dark—and am I the only one who’s catching a 8 ½ vibe here? (Fun story: I was playing trivia tonight and the team I was grading scored 8.5 points in one of the rounds, so I wrote “Fellini’s” next to their score and put 8.5 in quotes. I am a HUGE douche—and now I’m telling you about it! Gosh! What is wrong!)

3. http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nascar_cancels_remainder_of_season

Very classy, The Onion. Not only is their sports-parody second-to-none, this was actually a truly heartfelt tribute to DFW, funny and poignant.

2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmidt_Sting_Pain_Index

Someone needs to make Julian O. Schmidt the American poet laureate. Honestly, these descriptions of painful experiences elicited by insect stings are as beautiful as they are unhelpful! Can pain have an “aftertaste” or be “irreverent”? Will you ever find yourself in a doctor’s office saying, “Gee, doc… the pain is rich, hearty, and… slightly crunchy? Gosh, it’s almost like someone has mashed my hand in a revolving door!”—to which he will surely reply, “Well, buddy… looks like we’re dealing with a bald-faced hornet sting. (To which I will reply, “Are you sure it isn’t ‘bold-faced hornet’?”)

ALSO: How shitty has Dr. Schmidt’s life been that he can use fire-walking with a rusty nail in one’s heel or bubble-bath electrocution as frames of metaphorical reference?

1. http://blog.wired.com/music/2008/04/a-scientific-at.html (Wired post on a scientific attempt to create the world's most unwanted song)

Download this song immediately. Listen to it time after time after time. It is a breath-taking work of art. The final chorus is what I expect to hear playing as the world sinks into a lake of fire. (Yes, I just made a reference to Ragnarok—the Norse “Twilight of the Gods”. Yes, I expect to be around for Ragnarok. Yes, I am going to dwell on this for a while…)