Sunday, November 16, 2008

Top 23 Ways I Wanted to Fall Asleep Earlier Today

Okay, so this is kind of hard to explain, but earlier today, I promised I'd do this (to no one in particular) and here I am, following through. I went to a pre-Thanksgiving dinner thing today and after a couple of courses and a couple of drinks (and many, many 90s classic singalongs--anyone remember Fastball?), all I wanted to was sleep. So I started mumbling about how I wanted to pass out under various, semi-therapeutic circumstances. Maybe you had to be there, and maybe I didn't have to write this list, but it was fun for me. And sometimes, you just have to put yourself first.

23. I just wanna drink a bottle of Nyquil and pass out while watching Heat.

22. I just wanna wrap myself in a fur coat and nap forever.

21. I just wanna crawl facefirst into a sleeping bag.

20. I just wanna crawl facefirst into a book bag.

19. I just wanna crawl facefirst into any kind of bag.

18. I just wanna take a shower while sleeping.

17. I just wanna take like, twelve Tylenol PMs and pass out in a closet.

16. I just wanna dip my face in warm milk and blow bubbles.

15. I just wanna dip my face in warm bubbles and blow milk.

14. I just wanna get all set up to watch some porn and fall asleep with my face on the keyboard.

13. I just wanna go all fetal position on the floor and dream about playing catch.

12. I just wanna get my belly rubbed by a big fat woman, while a little skinny woman scratches my head.

11. I just wanna fall asleep to Varsity Blues.

10. I just wanna fall asleep to the Friday Night Lights movie.

9. I just wanna fall asleep to the Friday Night Lights pilot.

8. I just wanna fall asleep to someone reading me the first chapter of the Friday Night Lights book.

7. I just wanna watch the end of V For Vendetta over and over again.

6. I just wanna put my face inside my pillow and half-sing showtunes.

5. I just wanna wrap my face in a hot towel and hum.

4. I just wanna have someone walk on my back while I stare off into the middle distance.

3. I just wanna collapse onto a floor made of pillows and listen to Nick Drake.

2. I just wanna be covered in cats.

1. I just wanna lie down and be kissed and not have to kiss back.

1 comment:

El Gigante said...

Mentioning Nick Drake got me to thinking which artists are best to listen to either on the way to or immediately after a Thanksgiving meal. Here they are in no particular order:

1. The Band

2. Van Morrison (But only Astral Weeks)

3. Simon & Garfunkel

4. George Benson

5. Vince Guaraldi

Mmm taste the gravy and the warmth of Grandma's house. Or Pat's apartment. Or Pat dressed as a grandma.
(PS-Super duper sad that I could not be there for Pre-Thanksgiving, easily my favorite made-up NY based holiday).