Oh man. Have you nerds read Ecce Homo? It is ridiculous. It's basically a look back at Nietzsche's career as a philosopher/baller-extraordinaire and it boasts the greatest chapter titles of any book ever. Here's a taste: "Why I Am So Clever"... "Why I Write Such Good Books"... and my personal favorite, "Why I Am a Destiny".
Anyway, that got me thinkin'...
31. Why I Am Basically the Coolest
30. Why I Rock Harder Than You Can Even Dream
29. Why I Can Type Faster Than You
28. Why I Have Superpowers
27. Why I Have Razor-Sharp Claws
26. Why I Have a Four-Octave Vocal Range
25. Why I Jump Higher and Farther Than Most People
24. Why My Heart Is Made of Metal and My Brain Is Made of Heart
23. Why Batman Is Actually a Documentary About My Life
22. Why I Am In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes
21. Why I Am Totally Free to Just Take All Your Money
20. Why I Came Up With the Idea for Legends of the Hidden Temple--(Happy Birthday, Kirk Fogg!)
19. Why I Can Go All Night Long
18. Why I Can Shoot Bullets Out of My Hands
17. Why If You Prick Me, I Actually Don't Bleed
16. Why I Can Play Like, Seven Different Instruments
15. Why I Am Quite Good Friends With Several Television Stars
14. Why My Other Car Is Your Car
13. Why I Have Yet To Be Prosecuted For Stealing Your Car
12. Why I Am the All-Time "All-Time Quarterback"
11. Why I Can See the Future and Change the Past
10. Why I Can Talk to Animals
9. Why I Can Listen to Plants
8. Why I Am Such a Baller
7. Why I Declined a Lucrative Contract from So So Def Records (and thus did not appear in the Philosopherz Rap)
6. Why I Invented the Phrase "Hanging Out"
5. Why I Am Frequently Mistaken for a God
4. Why I Am Not Exactly God, but Am Still Totally Just as Good as He Is
3. Why God and I Are BFFs
2. Why God Gave Me an Enormous Penis
1. Why God Sometimes Calls Me For No Reason, Just to Talk