Top 23 Things I Am Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

23. "Hangin' preps, no regrets"

Haha, check the title of the list, nerds. 2009 is going to be packed with sentences that end in prepositions. The greatest grammatical rule ever is in full effect!

22. Instant replay

Here's the thing--I know people have this whole purist "it slows down the tempo of the game" attitude. Question: Which would you prefer, an honest game or an expedient game? Answer: You know the answer.

21. Internet in the woods

We live in the future! I am 50 miles beyond nowhere right now, the night sky is blacker than black, there are rumors of bears and pumas, and yet here I am, speaking to you!

20. Fireplaces

Though my ridiculous cat seems to think this is an awesome place to play? Memo to my cat: Dude, change your definition of "awesome", you have some serious misconceptions. Also, you have eight toes on your two front paws. Okay, that is awesome.

19. NHL Game Radio (also, when hockey announcers call jerseys "sweaters")

Not awesome--the Minnesota Wild blowing a 2-goal lead? What's the deal, fellas? Were you not aware that I was listening and that your loss severely affected my mood for like, an hour?

18. Edgewater, NJ (also, Warminster, PA)

What's up, 2nd most loyal city in the nation? That's right--PaRMLoT gets a robust 15 visits a day from Edgewater. Hey, everybody else--STEP IT UP. You don't want to end up like Peoria.

17. "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding" by Elvis Costello

Awesome story. The other day, Caitlin, Erin, and I were watching the Colbert Christmas Special when Stephen and the gang broke out into (this) song. As Colbert, Feist, John Legend, Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, and Mr. Costello himself all joined in on the phrase "Where is the ha-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-armony," Caitlin looks at me and says, "Whoa, sweet harmony!" UM, CAITTLE, those are the next words in the song and you didn't even know it HOW SWEET (HARMONY) IS THAT. The universe was speaking, I think.

16. The bratburger from Hallo Berlin

On rye, with mustard and red cabbage. TRUST. ME. Order it with a Spaten.

15. The NRW stop at 47th and 7th

Dear The MTA, I use this stop all the time! It is so convenient and clean and great. The red glazed tiles on the walls make it feel warm, even when it is decidedly not. Good prize! Love, Me. PS: Seriously, the MTA. Love me. LOVE ME!

14. Frank O'Hara

If you have never read "Steps" or "Why I Am Not a Painter" or "Ave Maria", just go do it. Now. I'll wait. This list will wait.

13. TV online

Hey, DirecTV. You thought I'd have to wait until January to watch Season Three of Friday Night Lights. YOU THOUGHT WRONG (AS A CORPORATION). Thanks to some enterprising folks (read: criminals) I have been kept fully abreast of the goings-on in Dillon, Texas. Sure can't wait for the playoffs, and by wait, I mean "wait a few weeks", not "wait until effing DirecTV (AKA Die-in-a-Wreck-TV) says it's okay".

12. Heaven Hill bourbon

Cheap. Surprisingly non-lethal. Attractive red and gold label. And somehow holy?

11. The house wine at Columbia Cottage

I don't care if you guys make it in the basement, it is free and it goes with the Happy Family. Yesterday, my fortune cookie said I was going to meet someone who would bring me excitement and success! (I didn't add "in bed" to the end of my fortune, because I sleep on a futon, so that would be lying.)

10. Non-coin-op laundry

Item! It feels so good to not have to pay for clean clothes. In case you are wondering, I did this today. Am I bragging? Not gonna lie... a little. I think I'm better than you because I didn't pay for laundry this time around. (If you happen to own your own washer-dryer--AKA are some sort of Vanderbilt-esque robber-baron or a non-NYC resident--I am not better than you.)

9. Tim Riggins

Sometimes, you just have to ask yourself WWTRD, what would Tim Riggins do? The answer, usually, is take an indefinite absence from the team, drink heavily while helping out a friend in dire need, stare off into the distance wistfully/mournfully while your hair blows in your face... then you mumble, "Texas forever," and go win the big game. He has the best fictional life.

8. For once, babies, because I suppose we all were them once

This baby came over to my apartment the other day, and she was awesome. She didn't cry or try to steal my soul or any of that crap babies normally do. I was actually okay with the idea of babies for once. I'm gonna call that baby up and see if she wants to hang. We could see Slumdog Millionaire or something.

7. The cold

'Cuz if it's cold, sometimes you have to make your own anti-cold (AKA warmth), am I right, ladies? You guys, that was totally intended to be sweet and charming, but it came off as super-creepy. I am sorry.

6. The ability to ice skate

Because then you can go to the skating rink in Central Park and look the raddest.

5. The absurd

Theory: Most things are absurd, in some way. If you are observing something, and it's not absurd, then that fact in and of itself is absurd, because you've managed to escape the absurd for a moment. If the absurd is occuring, and you choose to ignore it and live your life, that's doubly absurd because you're allowing yourself to believe absurdity doesn't exist. If you come into contact with the absurd (which, as we've just established, is super-likely) and you just say, "Yep, that's absurd," that's still pretty absurd if you think about it, because then you're basically saying that absurdity is normality. Oh my gosh, this life is wonderful and heart-breaking.

4. Rob Trump and his wacky ideas

Thanks for following through on this site, man. We rant and babble and talk weird, but once in a while, I think we're geniuses.

3. The fact that we, as a species, got tired of being nomads

I'm in a house right now, not an outcropping of rocks at which I am making camp for the night, and it's a great, good thing. (I suppose apartment-living is still slightly nomadic, but I digress.) I don't wanna get into a whole thing right now, because it's late and cold and I have to cook a bunch tomorrow... I'm just taking a moment here, considering who I live with, both immediately and emotionally, and I have to say, it's pretty heartening.

2. The human instinct towards tradition

Like when Tom calls "Shots!" in my apartment and we all drink whatever awful alcohol is in the freezer, or when Caitlin starts casting the movie we're watching with our friends, or when Frank decides to christen the night we're having ("The Attack on Manhattan", "The Second Wind", etc...), or when Rob says it's a good day to get soup, or when Laksh communicates with me via George Michael videos on YouTube... these are the sorts of constants in my life that make all the other shit and absurdity seem semi-distant.

1. Change

Then again, Change had a pretty good year, too.