Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Top 11 Reasons I'm Glad to be Back in Minnesota

New York City is nice, but it's great to be back in Minnesota.  Here's why:

11. The view from my apartment is awesome

The falls/dam is half-frozen, including some actually apparently frozen mid-fall waterfalls (note: I don't think they were actually frozen mid-fall because I don't think it works that way).  It's really beautiful, and we have the soft blue glow of the new 35-W bridge all behind it.  (The following picture is not actually mine and is also not from this deep into the winter.)

10. I love the cold

It might be hard for people not from here to understand, but coming home to below-zero weather is strangely comforting.  Today, it was mostly above twenty after being sub-zero for a few days.  A little too warm, probably, but still good.

9. "The people here are nice" anecdote #1

I was walking in the skyway and some guys were closing up a restaurant, and a passerby just shouted, "Merry Christmas!" at them.  Which is both really nice, and reminds me...

8. You don't have to bother with that "Happy Holidays" trash

It's not the holidays this week in Minnesota.  It's Christmas on Thursday.  Hell yeah.

7. I've been having some really good bowel movements here

It's probably because I'm eating better.  If you are grossed out by this, it's your problem, not mine.  I'm happy with my body, thanks.  You are the weirdo.

6. "The people here are nice" anecdote #2

I was standing outside looking at a big map of downtown Minneapolis on a pillar when some older woman walked past and asked, "Are you lost?"  I told her that nope, I was fine, but I have no doubt that she would've helped me if I was.  As opposed to New York, where you ask others to help you when you're lost, and they usually don't, even. 

5. Oh yeah, there are big maps of downtown Minneapolis on pillars


4. Rachel, you're going to love it here

Rachel, you're going to love it here.

I'm sure there are plenty of sweet hip record stores that I haven't discovered yet in New York, but the fact that Minneapolis basically has exactly one makes it all the more awesome.  Everything on record or disc you can find here.  I went there disappointed that Barnes and Noble didn't have a CD I wanted to get my dad for Christmas (Billy Bragg & Wilco's Mermaid Avenue, Vol. II, hope you don't read this, Dad), which of course the Fetus had.  But even better, it had a Scharpling and Wurster CD (which are pretty hard to find not-online) in the used comedy section, which I bought for $2.  I almost also bought Dov Davidoff's stand-up album becuase I've read good things, but I restrained myself from spending too much, as one always must at the Electric Fetus

2. Seeing friends and family

Mom picked me up, I just said hi to Dad, my sister is coming home tomorrow, I'm gonna hang out with my friend Brett tonight!  Awww!  This one is cute!

As well as being wonderful and useful--I spent about half my afternoon in it--the skyway is a great symbol of what getting somewhere in Minneapolis means versus what getting somewhere in other places means.  Yeah, you'll have to walk, and it'll take longer, but it's nice and warm inside, and everything is decorated with Christmas stuff, and there are other people that you're not just trying to jostle past like in the New York subway.  Paul Westerberg got it right:

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