So there I sat, in Midnight Mass, thinking, "Garsh, there's a lot of names for Jesus!" Names like Son of God, Son of Man, Lord of Lords, Prince of Peace, and Wonder Counselor! Then, today, while reading the sports page, I thought, "Garsh, there's a lot of unnecessary college football bowl games!" Games like the Meineke Car Care Bowl, the papajohns.com Bowl, and the magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl.
Well, I wanted to do lists on both, but it's Christmas, so I combined them! Jesus names in green, bowl names in red!
40. J. Crizzle
39. The Crossbow Bowl
38. The AggressiveDivorceLawyering.com Bowl
37. God Jr
36. The Boy Who Was His Own Father
35. The "Pat Digby for Finn County Sheriff" Bowl
34. Baby Bjlord
33. The Mole Bowl (in Division I-AA, the counterpart is the Vole Bowl)
32. Kid Christ
31. Lil' Ol' Hard-to-Kill
30. The Collected Works of James Fennimore Cooper Bowl
29. The Bergen County Tourism Commission Bowl (the Bergen County Community College football team is granted an automatic bid to this bowl game)
28. God-Tested, Holy-Mother-Approved
27. The Widespread Panic Bowl
26. The Fibromyalgia Awareness Bowl (an all-star game played by the best collegiate football players who present symptoms of fibromyalgia)
25. The Anti-Anti-Christ
24. Savior-in-a-box
23. The No-Turn-on-Red Bowl
22. Ringo of Nazareth
21. Dennis McEmmanuel
20. The Freemason Bowl
19. The Incarceratedmason Bowl
18. The Cadbury Creme Egg Bowl (previously known simply as the Egg Bowl, until it received sponsorship from the Cadbury-Schweppes company in 1996)
17. J. Herman Christ
16. Justice O. Peaceandlove
15. It Came From Bethlehem!!!
14. The PaRMLoT Bowl (actually just me and Rob throwing a football at each other when one of us isn't looking)
13. H.L. Mencken
12. Joseph's Little Hard-to-Explain Helper
11. The Original X-Man
10. Like a kid, but with superpowers
9. The Obsessive-Compulsives Anonymous Bowl (during this game, the first kickoff is replayed over and over and over until everybody gets it right)
8. County Executive of County Executives
7. "Gentle" Jesuford Heisenberg Christenbaum
6. Nathaniel "Savior of Nations" Graybeard
5. The Pappy Chang's Take-Out-or-Eat-In Bowl
4. The Red Roof Inn Bowl (Martin Mull is the head referee for this bowl game)
3. MC J.C.
2. The Halliburton Happiness Bowl
1. Tiny Boy the Fireshooter
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