Monday, December 1, 2008

Top 25 Meatbones

PARMLOT delivers on a promise!  It's a list of top 25 meatbones!

For the uninitiated, a "meatbone" is defined as:

A basically plausible image, event, or plot point that is much  more prevalent in fiction than it is in real life.  Often, but not always used to refer to a cartoony visual image.

I have recently submitted that definition of a meatbone (which apparently people think is a penis, IT IS NOT!!!) to Urban Dictionary.  My definition is probably on there by the time you're reading this, so please, click that link, vote it up, and we can all let the world know what a meatbone truly is.

And now, the examples!

25. Two people are completely unable to recognize each other at a masquerade ball despite the fact that their only disguises are tiny little half-masks.

24. A class title ends in "101"

23. A child licks his or her ice cream, which causes it to accidentally fall off the cone, and the child starts crying

22. A dog chases a cat

21. A cat chases a mouse

20. A mouse scares an elephant

19. A mouse steals some cheese

18. A cat watches a fish swim back and forth in a fishbowl

17. A man's wife is cheating on him with the pool boy

16. A person hides behind a newspaper or book while people searching for him/her run past, then he/she brings down the newspaper and runs in the opposite direction

15. A cat is stuck in a tree, especially if firefighters have to get it out instead of doing something more important

14. A worm crawls out of an apple

13. A fish skeleton is seen fully intact

12. A woman sings so high that glass shatters

11. A person slips on a banana peel

10. A prisoner wears a black-and-white striped uniform, especially if the prisoner has escaped from jail, robbed a bank, and now holds a bag of money with a large dollar sign on it

9. A young man spies an attractive woman changing from his apartment window, especially if he calls his friends over to watch her

8. A man or woman runs to stop his or her lover from getting on a plane

7. Parents have a serious relationship fight while their kid listens on the stairs

6. Something bad happens on a live television show, and the producers say it'll be good for the ratings

5. People discuss last night's television shows around a water cooler

4. An alarm clock has a bell on it, especially if the alarm goes off and the clock vibrates itself off a nightstand

3. A man eats a large hunk of nondescript meat, holding its bone as a handle

Note: this is the meatbone from whence the term "meatbone" is derived.  Credit to Tobin Mitnick.

2. A plumber's butt cheeks slip out while he is working on a sink

1. A cop eats a donut

In order to help spread this wonderful term, we invite you, the reader, to come up with your own meatbones and post them here!  Perhaps we will have a future list of our favorite guest-submitted meatbones!


El Gigante said...

When two people are stranded on an island starving and they're starving and both imagine each other as different types of food based on their body type. For example a mohawked person becomes a pineapple.

When you run off a cliff and are able to keep running up until the point you look down.

Rob said...

Ahahahaha oh my God I love that desert island one.

Colin said...

I refuse to accept the term meatbone, but I do like when a person goes through a wall and leaves their silhouette.

Also, love at first sight could be a meet/bone.

Also, all males are gay at some point. It's a mandate.

Sarah said...

When a little kid decides to run away from home, taking only a polka-dotted knapsack tied to the end of a stick.

Getting drunk off of a jug with three large X's on it.

Carly said...

Someone runs away and leaves a cloud of dust (double Meatbone if it's in the same shape as them).

Death by being crushed under a piano or anvil.