Top 15 Greatest Things About Chuggo

Time to get off my soapbox and write an actually funny list.

So I'm often a little behind on these internet meme things, probably because I hate the internet. HOWEVER, when I had three free iTunes purchases yesterday, I made some pretty good choices (mini-list comin' up kidz):

1. The Theme from The Burg
2. The Theme from "Taxi"'
3. Chuggo's "Ah C'mon"

This third one, if you're not familiar with it, has been circlin' the net for a few months and is the most awesome rap jam this side of Warcraft: the Rap. (Note: do not watch that. It is unfunny and will make you want to kill yourself.) Here, in fully embedded form, is Chuggo's "Ah, C'mon":



For clarification, he's trying to say "fuckin' guy," but yep, it sounds way more like "AAAHHHHHH C'MON FUCK A GUY," which has led to Chuggo's deserved internet fame. So here are the 15 greatest things about Chuggo:

15. "I put mayonnaise on everything / That's how I eat." (2:14)

14. "I treat the pavement like Tampax / 'Cuz some bitches bleed on it." (3:22)

I hope Chuggo does not actually do with the pavement things that should be done with Tampax.

13. "I grew up inside a strip bar" (1:12)

Whenever I hear this, it sounds to me like he says "I grew up inside a stripper," which really seems more plausible to me

12. "She brought me to her house / And I put it in her pie" (3:42)

When he says this, the music video shows a girl holding an actual pie. So...did he like, actually put it in her pie instead of having sex with her?

11. His apparent down syndrome (constantly)

10. That inexplicable slow moving/grooving group. (1:55)

Seriously, what the hell are those people doing?

9. When he starts doing what can only be described as a Weird Al impersonation of himself (3:48)

8. "I fuck all day / That's why I stink" (0:59)

In case you were wondering.

7. His skull scepter of rap prowess/sexual prowess/doom/+5 charisma (constantly)

6. "See that kid stealing? / That was a thief. / See them dudes behind him? / That's the police" (2:48)

5. "You want to go against Chuggo, yo fuck that / You want to go against Chuggo, yo fuck that" (1:33)

4. The fact that his pooping brother is inexplicably black (o:37)

3. I wonder what kind of cancer he used to have. (constantly)

2. The way he totally pulverizes that guy in the video with his vicious slap (1:42)

1. AHHHHHH C'MON FUCK A GUY (constantly)