Top 14 Taints

A slang term for the human, often male perineum, the "taint" is so-called because it...

14. The original taint - the perineum

Tain't the balls and tain't the ass!

Similarly, for other useless in-the-middle crap...

13. The facial taint - the philtrum

Tain't the nose and tain't the lips!

 

12. The nasal taint - the nasal septum

Tain't the left nostril and tain't the right!

11. The manual taint - the ring finger

Tain't the bird and tain't the pinky!  (Yeah that's right I'm flippin' off marriage...with a real finger)

10. The Columbia taint - the LLC gate

Tain't Hartley and tain't Wallach!  (Note: I am in no way taking credit for inventing this)

9. The weather's taint - sleet

Tain't rain and tain't snow!

8. The taint of milks - 1%

Tain't two and tain't skim!

7. The Harry Potter taint - Chamber of Secrets

Tain't Sorcerer's Stone and tain't Prisoner of Azkaban!  (Which were both way better, right guys?  Right?  ...Right?)

6. The Middle East taint - the Gaza strip

Tain't Israel and tain't Palestine!

5. The NBA's taint - the Golden State Warriors

Tain't the Kings and tain't the Lakers! (Note: the Clippers are actually even lower than a taint)

4. The U.S. presidential taint - right now

Tain't really a Bush presidency and tain't an Obama one!

3. The sports taint - rugby

Tain't football and tain't gang violence!  (Almost, but not quite.)

2. The telecommunications taint - Twitter

Tain't texting and tain't blogging!

1. The holiday taint - December 26th to 30th

Tain't Christmas and tain't New Years!