Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Top 17 Urges I Have that I Don't Understand

Some urges make sense.  Some urges are useful.  Some others are these:

17. The urge to press the door-lock button on a car's remote keyless entry not once, which would be enough to lock the car, but twice, to make that beeping noise.

16. The urge to test how slippery ice is when I see it on the sidewalk.

15. The urge to drink more water when I am not thirsty but the waiter at a restaurant just refilled my cup.

14. The urge to get on a skateboard and try to skate on it even though I have no idea how to skateboard.

13. The urge to put the date by all my class notes as if I will ever have to cross-reference by date of lecture.

12. The urge to kick car tires.

11. The urge to kick birds.

10. The urge to kick small children.

9. The urge to kick basically everything.

8. The urge to put a phone between my ear and my shoulder even when both of my hands are free.

7. The urge to run a car's gas down as close as possible to empty before filling up, as if I am somehow using more of the gas I buy that way.

6. The urge to tell people I'm sorry when something bad happened to them even though it's not my fault.

5. The urge not to tell people I'm sorry when something bad happened to them and it is my fault.

4. The urge to start a phone call with my name even when I am calling people's cell phones and I know they've seen my name before they picked up.

3. The urge for Herbal.

2. The urge for herbal cigarettes even though I don't smoke.

1. The urge to aim my urine at stains in the toilet bowl of public toilets in an effort I guess to maybe clean them a little.

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