Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Top 21 Phrases To Avoid on a 1st Date

Ugh, kiddos. It has been a while. I'll be better about posting more soon, I promise. I am in the maelstrom of grad school things. That is not even an excuse. I just wanted to say maelstrom. Sometimes we say things we don't mean to. 


21. "colorless, viscous substance"

20. "my little amateur taxidermy hobby"

19. "exciting opportunities in human trafficking"

18. "the periodic need to shave my knee beards"

17. "my family friend Joseph Goebbels"

16. "my old school chum Rod Blagojevich"

15. "that adorable son-of-a-gun Pol Pot"

14. "debilitating scratch-off addiction"

13. "those who know about the programs are the ones who get the money!!!!!"

12. "the inherent joy of arson"

11. "many deer died that day... for my freedom!"

10. "for a Thai prison, the mood was rather effervescent"

9. "as black sites go, it was totally cheery"

8. "for a convicted felon, I'm a great cook"

7. "professional cat tossing"

6. "wanted by several bounty hunters"

5. "delightfully agoraphobic"

4. "more than four problems"

3. "during my brief stint as a fluffer"

2. "during my lengthy career as a fluffer"

1. "I am still currently employed as a fluffer"

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