Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Top 7 Statistics about the CBS Sitcoms I Watched Last Night

Last night, sirs, I achieved the impossible. A two-hour gauntlet of CBS sitcoms--The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, and Worst Week.  Here are some statistics I extrapolated regarding how much they overlapped.

7. 3 of 4 sitcoms had at least one romantic plotline

Kind of to be expected--not too surprising.  Worst Week was the odd man out.

6. 2 of 4 sitcoms had a romantic plotline between a weird-looking guy and a girl who was way too attractive for him

I guess this is kind of to be expected, too, especially from stuff like Two and a Half Men (which is written by a penis taped to a pen) and The Big Bang Theory.  Guy from Studio 60 and Dr. Horrible, and guy who looks like Matthew Broderick got hit with a tire iron--youse ugly motherfuckers.

5. 1 of 4 had a romantic plotline where the ugly guy succeeds with the hot girl

Here's the chick who was all over Jon Cryer (ugly Matthew Broderick--directly above if you don't know what Matthew Broderick looks like or something):


4. 1 of 4 sitcoms had a plotline that assumed the relevence of Battlebots

I'm looking at you, The Nerd-Stereotype Joke Theory.  (The theory, by the way, is that 30 minutes of nerd jokes can make a highly-rated sitcom.  The theory is right.)

3. 4 of 4 sitcoms made me laugh at least once

This one is embarassing, so I'm going to gloss over it.  Yes, Two and a Half Men made me laugh.  Shut up.

2. 2 of 4 sitcoms had "men read things while they poop" as an important plot point

Yes, you're reading that right.  It was an observation integral to both Worst Week and How I Met Your Mother's stories.  And yeah, I love Mother and like/tolerate Week.

1. 2 of 4 sitcoms had "seeing your lover's mother's vagina" as an important plot point

I kid you not.  Worst Week and Two and a Half Men.

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