25 More Meatbones

First off, thanks a lot to those who came and saw me yesterday.  I pledge now to stop using this blog as a place to plug my own stand-up. Now, onto the list!!!

Several months ago, PaRMLoT gave you meatbones, which are fictional or cartoony situations and images that would seem to represent real life but are in reality very uncommon in real life.  Read some from the linked list if you want to get the feel of it.  This is a term that needs spreading, so here are some more!  (Credit if I remember who came up with them)

25. A spherical bomb with a wick on top

(Credit to Dylan Love)

24. A kid bunches up some clothes under the sheets to make it look like he or she is still sleeping while he or she escapes out the window to go do something he or she shouldn't.  Extra points if Mom walks in and talks to the clothes for at least a few minutes before realizing it's not the kid.

(Credit to Rachel Leopold)

23. Doctor's perscription is "Take two and call me in the morning."

22. Kids stand on each others' shoulders and put on a trenchcoat to imitate an adult

(Credit to this fantastic Onion article, which is a veritble goldmine of meatbones.  In fact, credit to that article for the next five as well)

22. A kangaroo in boxing gloves

21. A person accidentally gets stuck in wet cement

20. A fat woman chases someone with a rolling pin

19. Stepping on a board which smacks you in the face

18. A piano falling on a person

(Actually, credit to both the Onion article and Carly Hoogendyk for that one)

17. An anvil falls on someone.  Honestly, an anvil anywhere outside of a blacksmith's residence.

(Credit to Carly Hoogendyk again)

16. A nerd insists that you not call his action figure a doll

15. Science fair projects and "the big science fair," especially if said project is a diorama of the solar system or a baking soda volcano

(Credit to Rachel Leopold)

14. A fruit cart gets upset by a chase that blows past it through the town square

13. A person upsets a beehive and the bees immediately chase the person everywhere no matter how far they run.  Bonus points if the beehive ends up on their head.

12. People get drunk from a jug of moonshine that has "XXX" on the side of it.  Bonus points if they play the jug after they are done drinking.

(Credit to Sarah Dooley)

11. A person walking along the street sees a newspaper on the ground open to a headline that gives them information they ought to have but don't have yet.  Then the person grabs the newspaper and runs somewhere.

(Credit to Jeff Schwartz)

10. A nerd wears glasses with a piece of tape to hold the together in the middle.

(Credit to Rachel Leopold)

9. Mad scientists.  Every goddamn thing imaginable about them

8. Guy thinking about baseball to prevent himself from having an orgasm

7. A person runs off, leaving a cloud of dust behind him or her.  Bonus points if the cloud of dust is in the shape of the person right before he or she took off.

(Credit to Carly Hoogendyk)

6. A person runs off a cliff but stays level with the cliff and runs forward until he or she looks down, at which point in time that person finally falls--straight down.

(Credit to Rami)

5. A kid runs away from home carrying only a red-with-white-spots knapsack tied to a stick

(Credit to Sarah Dooley)

4. A hungry person imagines another person as a piece of food, incorporating elements of their appearance into what type of food it is.  (E.g. a mohawked person becomes a pineapple)

(Credit to Rami)

3. A person gets thrown through a wall, leaving the wall completely intact except for an outline of the person's body as they went through the wall.  Note: people only ever go through walls with their arms and legs completely spread-eagle.

(Credit to Colin Drummond)

2. A dog ate a kid's homework

1. A kid who didn't do his homework lies and claims that a dog ate it.

That last one is a MEATBONE WITHIN A MEATBONE, also known as a META-MEATBONE or a METABONE!  WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I CAN DIE HAPPY!!!!!!

Also: feed us more meatbones and the saga will one day continue!!!!!