Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Top 27 Fictional Presidential Pets

Sad news. India "Willie" Bush, the former White House cat died today. This led me on a wild Wikipedia romp through past presidential pets, eventually ending with this page. I would have to say that this is one of the greatest wikipages I have ever read. Here's just a sampling. Harry Truman's boa Monster Jungle X-Ray!!! Teddy Roosevelt's one legged rooster!!! Chester Arthur never had any pets!!! Andrew Johnson used to feed mice he found in his bedroom!!! 

AND--according to to the edits history of that page, Henry Kissinger has been removed from Nixon's list of pets multiple times.

AH. This is why life is pretty okay. Also, I made up some more pets.

27. Future Bacon – pig, belonged to Woodrow Wilson

26. Sir Burton Burrs – python, belonged to Franklin Pierce

25. Large Marge – fat tiger, belonged to Richard M. Nixon

24. Calvin Rodney Kenneth – secretariat bird, belonged to John Quincy Adams

23. Derek – dinosaur, belonged to Jimmy Carter

22. Little Honky Bastard – goat, belonged to Harry S. Truman

21. Eightarms Eileen – octopus, belonged to James Buchanan

20. Cornfed Lass – minke whale, belonged to Rutherford B. Hayes

19. Ol’ Thumby – polydactyl cat, belonged to Andrew Jackson

18. Sherbert, Sherman, Sherwood, and Fuckface – gerbils, belonged to John F. Kennedy

17. Johnny Cotton – vampire bat, belonged to George H.W. Bush

16. Miss Jenny Taxpayer and Mister Johnny Lawmaker – parakeets, belonged to Millard Fillmore

15. Lady Cab Driver – Pekinese cat, belonged to Ronald Reagan

14. Pierce Brosnan – actor, belonged to William Jefferson Clinton

13. Buck Chin – musk ox, belonged to John Adams

12. Andrew Benjamin – yeti, belonged to Thomas Jefferson

11. Rollo the Red – fox, belonged to Warren G. Harding

10. Mr. Brutus – beetle, belonged to Franklin Delano Roosevelt

9. Dennis Leatherbuttons Shimmytacker-Shammyticker McTeague, Esq. – pygmy, belonged to James Garfield

8. Midrial Filth – daemon, belonged to Calvin Coolidge

7. Gaeten & Gwyneth – ferrets, belonged to James Monroe

6. Captain Jeffy – ground sloth, belonged to Grover Cleveland

5. Princess Poo-Poo Mystique – badger, belonged to Theodore Roosevelt

4. J.J. Jypsy – gypsy, belonged to James Madison

3. Dwight Dog Eisenhower – Yorkshire terrier, belonged to Dwight Eisenhower

2. Dwight Cat Eisenhower – Siamese cat, belonged to Dwight Eisenhower

1. Dwight Bird Eisenhower - alligator, belonged to Dwight Eisenhower

1 comment:

Eva said...

Chester Arthur didn't even have imaginary pets!? I am starting to believe that he was never actually president...